Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Advice for Librarians

What to Do When the Russians Come: A Survivor's Guide recently was returned at the library I work at. Flipping through it I found out it lists various survival tactics for after the inevitable Soviet invasion occurs when Reagan doesn't get his way. Part of the book lists tactics by profession, here is the librarian advice on pages 118 and 119:


Your job will be comparatively safe. Your first duty will be to carry out the removal from your shelves of a large part of their contents. Politically unsuitable books, together with those considered pornographic or decadent, will be proscribed; you will be surprised at the manner in which the labels of pornography and decadence have been extended to cover a very wide range of literature. Your old reference books, such as encyclopedias, will be withdrawn and pulped.

You should keep handy a pair of sharp scissors and a supply of paste as you will have to cut out or replace those entries in the new style encyclopedias and reference books that become politically inconvenient--a normal Soviet practice. As the years go by, even the more harmless books on your shelves will by gradually replaced as works commissioned and printed by the state begin to appear in adequate numbers. Experience from the Soviet Union and particularly from Eastern European countries suggests that you will not be kept very busy checking these out. If you can safely save and secrete some of the books that are being discarded, well and good; although your superiors will be on the lookout for this, and it may be hazardous for you or your friends to be caught reading them.

Duplicating machines will be usable by designated staff only, and will be available, even to degree, only in major libraries.

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