Monday, April 16, 2007

Was shooter a Marine?

Gunman kills 30 at US university. The only question now is, was he a Marine?

      HARTMAN
Do any of you people know who Charles

Whitman was?

No response.

HARTMAN
None of you
dumbasses knows?

COWBOY raises his hand.

HARTMAN

Private Cowboy?

COWBOY
Sir, he was that guy who shot
all those people
from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir!


HARTMAN
That's affirmative. Charles Whitman killed
twenty
people from a twenty-eight-storey
observation tower at the
University of Texas
from distances up to four hundred yards.


HARTMAN looks around.

HARTMAN
Anybody know who Lee
Harvey Oswald was?

Almost everybody raises his hand.


HARTMAN
Private Snowball?

SNOWBALL
Sir, he shot
Kennedy, sir!

HARTMAN
That's right, and do you know how
far away
he was?

SNOWBALL
Sir, it was pretty far!
From that book
suppository building, sir!

The recruits laugh at
"suppository. "

HARTMAN
All right, knock it off! Two
hundred and fifty
feet! He was two hundred and fifty feet away

and shooting at a moving target. Oswald got
off three rounds with an
old Italian bolt action
rifle in only six seconds and scored two
hits,
including a head shot! Do any of you people

know where
these individuals learned to
shoot?

JOKER raises his hand.


HARTMAN
Private Joker?

JOKER
Sir, in the Marines,
sir!

HARTMAN
In the Marines! Outstanding! Those

individuals showed what one motivated
marine and his rifle can do!
And before you
ladies leave my island, you will be able to
do
the same thing!


from Full Metal Jacket

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